* Duncan has been away from the club for over three years enjoying, at tax payers’ expense, a working holiday in DC – or Washington to the rest of us. OK, not really a holiday, but you can decide after you have read this.
It was supposed to be in June 2020 that Nick was to travel to the US of A and show everyone over there how a defence analyst really works. However, covid intervened and it was almost a year later when Nick finally arrived at LAX and pretended to be a diplomat to get through customs. It worked, and about an hour later, after being given the keys to a limo, he was driving through the traffic trying to remember to keep right and avoid other cars.
He was impressed at the size of the building where he * and at the number of* working there. He had to get used to travel because the* Zealand budget allowance meant he had to live a long way from work, but handy to gift shops which dispensed *or what we would call a tinnie.
Apparently, you spend a lot of time waiting for things to get sorted out, like a driving licence which creates its own stress. But the bar nights at the New * embassy were a good place to relax.
Continuing the relaxing theme Nick spent a lot of time watching strange US sports such as
and* but also watching the All Blacks thrashing the US team. Nick also travelled extensively and took full advantage of his time over there. He especially learned how to order his coffee and after months of training could say ‘hawt latte’ seven times out of ten.
Then came the meat of the talk, what he did in his day job and it was fascinating. For example, * a * is * not China * with * not a *.
Unfortunately, Nick ran out of time after these amazing revelations. He concluded by explaining he was involved in peace and conflict resolution, making informed decisions on the highway to war to make sure there were ‘off-ramps’ available at all times.
*This text and much more has been redacted by order of the New Zealand Defence Force